As I thought deeply about the direction in which my life was going and whether or not it was in line with my life’s purpose, something hit me. It was somewhat like an epiphany: so sudden, but so very profound. It shifted my focus from wanting to find out my life’s purpose to what I was doing now. Was I doing enough in preparing and positioning myself for the untold future? This question reverberated in my thoughts ad nauseam. Contemplation of my life’s purpose made me myopic, to say the least. It blinded me from the many possibilities that lie ahead. I then concluded that I was not doing enough.
This semester has been particularly rough. At one point everything seemed to have been going terribly wrong. But this was not caused by any supernatural force of evil wreaking havoc in my life, no. It was me, all me. I was the one who had lost focus; I had lost sight of the goal at hand. As my classes came to an end, I looked back with utter regret. How and why did I allow myself to sink so low? Never again will I allow that to happen.
This is something I struggled with during high school. I never really gave thought to where I would end up. I lived life carefree. I was somewhat delusional. On entering university, this carefree attitude was tossed out the window for a variety of reasons. I committed to not making the same mistakes I did back then because it had left me with so many regrets. I committed to do my best. They always say “old habits die hard’ and this was proven as the carefree attitude found it’s way back into my life. This semester or rather the end of the semester proved to be a wake up calI. It reminded me of what I committed to do/ not to do when I began my tertiary education. It shed light on my many downfalls. I have since then vowed to myself never to let that happen again.
There are so many things I want to accomplish during my academic career. Things that I will accomplish only by sticking to the task. It is my duty to keep my eyes on the prize and do my utmost best. I’d rather look back and say “I have done my best” than to say “I wish I’d done better.”
In the words of the Toltec spiritualist Miguel Angel Ruiz:
“Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”